I believe in Christ

I really wanted to write a post about my relationship with Christ especially since it's Christmas time. So I decided to share a very personal experience in my life.

A little over 2 years ago I was engaged to someone other than Samuel and that engagement was broken off. I was left devastated and confused. So at this point, I had just got out of a serious relationship where I spent most I my time with that person. I had a falling out with one of my roommates and I very uncomfortable in my own house. Then to top it off my best friend in the whole wide world was getting married ( I was happy for her, but sad I thought I was losing her). I felt very lost and extremely alone in the world. I had lots  of support from family, but in my everyday life of work and school in Tempe, I was alone.

I had a lot of prayer not knowing how to move forward. I wondered why this had happened and as if I could not over come it. All at once my happy little world seemed to have been crushed. I spent a couple months being very worn down, I had lost 10 pounds (not on purpose) and I wasn't happy. I felt like I was just trudging water.

My immediate instinct whenever I have struggled has been to try to make my self extremely busy and hope it would keep my mind off of everything. But of course that only makes things worst.

 The night my engagement ended I got a blessing and I was told that the savior knew what I was going through, to rely on him, and that he had great things in store for me. It wasn't until January, I finally took that advice. I knew it was time to move on. I decided I was going to do things differently. Rather than becoming over whelming busy, I listened to a talk called "Of Things that Matter Most" by Elder Deiter F. Uchtdorf.

    "When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be......."
   "Brothers and sisters, indeed we have great reason to rejoice. If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most."

I began focusing on my daily scripture study, institute class, and going to the temple once a week. It was helping I could feel a difference as I read the scriptures I felt Gods love for me. I prayed that I would feel happy with my current circumstances. However, it wasn't fix overnight, it took time, it took months of prayer and scriptures, but everyday I felt more happiness and slowly my situation also began to change. But it was in those deep prayers, blessings, and scripture studies where, I felt the redeeming love of my savior Jesus Christ. When I thought no one else could know what I was going through he reassured me that he did. When I felt alone he let me know that I was love.

I received so many tender mercies as I focused on the things that mattered most:

1. My relationship with my roommate that was dissolving was mended. You can call it a coincident, but I call it the work of a loving Father in Heaven. The first day of classes I showed up to my institute class and my roommate was in it and we both were like "I didn't know you were in here" and that was about it. Then I showed up to my first college class of the day and my roommate was in that class too and that time we laughed and that we were in two classes without planning it. It wasn't too long before we were walking from institute to our college class together and by half way through the semester it was as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. We are still good friends to this day.


2. I found that the Lord can see much farther in the future than I can. He made things fall apart so that I could find what would make me the most happy and that is my little family I have. I always tell Samuel I never lost my feelings I had for him when we were 16 and thank goodness Heavenly Father had my engagement fall apart off so I could have Sam and Burton in my life. The end of January was when I decided I was going to send Samuel a letter on his mission, he was coming home in 5 months and I though "hey a letter can't hurt." haha That blessing sure was right he definitely had great things in store for me.

3. The Lord gave me support as I got back on my feet through my family. My brother Timmy and his wife Katie lived 5 minutes from my house in Tempe and they were the house I went to that night my engagement got broken off and day or night they opened their house for me whenever I needed some company. Also my sister Brigette lived 1 hour away and I spend many weekends at her house and where I always knew I could laugh and go shopping with her to take my mind off of things. Then of course my parents helped guide my decisions with me through everything. I remember the next morning after my engagement ended, I called my mom crying because I told her I couldn't face the day and what people would think. She very lovingly encouragement that although it was hard I could make it through the day. I am thankful for the supportive family I was blessed with.

 "Strength comes not from frantic activity, but from being settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most."

To all who read this, I believe in Christ. In my darkest and loneliest hours, I was never truly alone and the more time I focused on him, the more I realized he was with me the whole time. I have felt and continue to feel his love, he is my savior, redeemer, and friend.

This Christmas, I want to give the little gift that I can give my Savior which is to be more Christ-like this year. Less judgmental, more loving, and see the good in all people as he does.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

If anyone wants to know more about my beliefs check out this site!

5 months...How did that happen?

On Saturday Burton turn five months old!!! I can't believe how fast those five months have come and how big he has gotten. He is eating baby food once a day now and it's only been a few days, but he is a big fan! Also it's getting a lot harder to take pictures of him since he is so wiggly, but a got a few.

My favorite!

Sam got him laughing on the way home from church.

Love this little family of mine :)

Now here are the unedited ones I tried to get of Burton lol

He loves balloons!

 

Oh how I love my little Burt! He makes be a mom so fun!

Ps. He slept 7 straight hours last night so Merry Christmas to me :)

4 months old!

Holy Cow! My baby is 4 months old today!!! I can't believe how big he has gotten. Now if he would sleep more than 2 hours at a time at night, life would be wonderful haha

Take a look at how big my 4 month old has gotten!

Burton loves grabing his toes! He can roll over. He loves eating his hands by cramming as many fingers as he can into his mouth haha. I love this little boy!

Also here's a flash back to how big he has got!

A few days old:

1 month:

2 months:

3 months:

4 months:

It goes so fast :)

Happy Halloween

We had a great Halloween! We dressed up for our trunk-or-treat at church and had a blast! 

Burton was a Jedi for his first Halloween!

Sam was World War 2 Captain America!

And I was a Capitol citizen from Hunger Games.

A little girl told me in a chastising manner that I need to take off some of my sparkles. Apparently my make up was too crazy. Burton kept laughing at how I looked haha.

Also Sam carved our awesome pumpkin!

 

Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween :)

Tucson

We went to Tucson this weekend and it was so fun! We went to visit family since Sam's brother Michael and his wife Becca both had thier birthdays we had a party for them. 

We also went to an apple orchard and picked some apples and a pumpkin patch where we got the biggest pumpkin ever!

Also Sam's grandma let Burton play with a toy. He feel in love with it and ended up taking it home lol

We had such a great weekend we also got to see our friends Chloe Grabinger and our couple friends the Chesleys!

We had a great trip, but to be honest it made us kinda sad to visit. This was the first time I'd been back to tucson since we moved in May. And We reallllllly miss living there, especially because we miss our friends. 

I really miss have close friendships. You know those friendships where you automatically click with! In Phoenix I had my siblings, and Jessica, Sara, Makenna, and Cassie (I love those girls). Then I got married and we moved to Tucson. We got really close to our friend Chloe while we were there and we made friends with the Chesleys who we had so much fun with! And now that we have moved to Yuma we have a lot of acquaintances, but no reall close friendships and I really miss that (Sam does too).

But on a happy note, pictures of my cute baby!!!

Also he started giggling!!

It's finally cooling off!

The weather is finally getting nice here! It was 75 degrees here so we decided to go on a walk!

Isn't he so cute?!!

2nd he is getting so strong!

And he rolled over today all by his self!!!

3rd We got our family pictures back: 

 

Life is going great! Although I am tired all the time since my son wakes up all night long!  But I love my little family and lets me honest my baby is seriously too cute!!!

But I did it...

I'm finding that as a new mom sometimes my biggest trial is motivation, especially after last night. 

I'll say it I'm exhausted! Usually Burton does okay at night, but he has two problems: he likes to eat and he has tummy issues. He doesn't stay up wide a wake, but he has never even close slept through the night.

He usually wakes up every 2 hours to eat (and Burton wonders why he is fat?!) sometimes he does 3 hours which is wonderful, but last night he did 2 hours. Which 2 hours would of been okay if it wasn't for his tummy...

When his stomach bothers him he grunts, stains and pushes! He isn't awake when he does this, he is sleeping. But the only way we both sleep is I have to sit up with him proped up on my shoulder and pat his back because his pushing wakes him up and sometimes makes him gag. And it has gotten better since he has gotten older, but last night it was bad. So from about 2 am on we spend our night like that. And guess how restful it is to wake up every 5 mins to pat your baby's back....answer: it's not restful at all.

Now that you know about my night, when I woke up this morning, guess what the last thing is that I wanted to do today? If you said doing anything I'll take it because truth be told, all I wanted to do was lay around and get fat. But the very last thing I wanted to do was go running!

But I did it! And mostly I did it because Burton was awake so I had no chance of going back to sleep, but also because I knew accomplishing something would make me feel better. And it did.

I wish I could say that it was an amazing run, but it wasn't I was probably more pathetic than yesterday. 

Or that I didn't stop and walk at all because I did.  

Or that my run wasn't as slow as an old lady mall walker, because it was. 

But I did it and as a new mom sometimes that is the best I can do and I'm okay with that. 

*Also, Burton enjoyed it (but who wouldn't if they were being pushed in a shaded stroller).

*one more thing here is a picture of my adorable baby!

Universal Studios!

A few weeks ago we went to Universal studios! It was Burton's first long car ride and he actually did pretty good...

Sam and I used this trip as a belated anniversary gift and we had a blast! Sam's mom watched Burton in the hotel room so we could go. 

We got a our picture drawn! The artist was very generous to me, I'm sure you noticed...

 

We also got these bracelets with our wedding date. Sam's is brown with different front style.

And to finish I got to have a crepe from the "crepe cafe" at the city walk outside the park. I had my first crepe there 7 years ago and it was love at first bite! 

 

We had a great trip!